some things to think about. or, my current thoughts on govt. and the like.

the division of power between the currently powerful and the currently incredibly powerful: something you can really cry about.

people make sin their god, so they will act accordingly with what their god teaches; get more power, get more money, get more sex. what is the governments true goal? what is wars true goal? to obtain the three things mentioned above. i believe people are good, just as i believe power corrupts. often times a "good" person will be put into a position of great power, and soon after, that said person will corrupt. he/she will do anything to obtain more of this power, and to obtain whatever else will satisfy and please, like sex and money. this why it is impossible for a government to remain "good" for more than a short amount of time.

i don't hate the president, i don't hate his goddamn cronies either, i don't hate any of the many lying politicians, and i don't hate the power hungry world bankers. i hate the sin that they have let overcome them. i hate the sin that we have all let overcome us. i hate that sin more than any other idea, thing, theory, place, person, or action. you do not have to be "religious" to understand what i'm talking about when i say "sin", i'm not a "religious" person.

hate the sin, love the sinner.

--Gandhi

here lately i have been trying not to get to extremely worked up when my mind wonders into the world of politics and government. but i'm finding it difficult. i know that there is so much shit that is messed up in that said realm, more than i could ever write down, but i think that it does more good not to focus on these fucked up issues. it does more good to focus and be thankful for all the good things we are blessed with. and yes, i know i am being more that just slightly hypocritical, but it's the truth.

good luck with your life.

the u.s. govt. ?

For we are opposed around the world by a monolithic and ruthless conspiracy that relies primarily on covert means for expanding its sphere of influence--on infiltration instead of invasion, on subversion instead of elections, on intimidation instead of free choice, on guerrillas by night instead of armies by day. It is a system which has conscripted vast human and material resources into the building of a tightly knit, highly efficient machine that combines military, diplomatic, intelligence, economic, scientific and political operations.

--JFK

i feel strange.

a mixture of boredom and happiness.
i love Chloe. she's nice.
i hope she loves me as well soon.
i've gotta get out of here.
times passin by way too slow.
is it ten yet?
don't you need somebody to love? don't you want somebody to love?
cause your friends, they treat you like a guest.
that is the definition of deathmetal.

u-turn and elysia

40,000 people die every day... how come you're not one of them?

lets have a smoke out back, cause this isn't how its supposed to be.

people

the source of anger
the source of depression
the source of happiness
the source of confusion
the source of suicide
the source of war, religion, politics, pollution, crime, and villagante.
imagine being the only one. whats left to live for? whats left to die for?
although the people that you love are often times the source of all your sadness and grief,
its good to take into consideration where all your happiness and joy come from.
the people that you love.

happiness

i wish i were a happier person.
i hate the small things that always bring me so far down. it ruins my day.
maybe next time i'll just not worry about it. after all, its so unavoidable anyways.
fuck being sad.
lets all be happy!

thoughts based around war mixed up into a single paragraph without order or cooperation on the part of the writer.

we may be impressed, entertained, intrigued, and supportive of
an action that we don't personally have to take part in;
it seems that each generation must learn from their own mistakes,
you can blame it on a single man, a single organization, a single nation;
but the blame truly belongs on the arrogant people of the world; all of us, some much less than others, but we're all responsible for some bad in the world. you'd be a fool to deny being a harm in some form.
peace: love, inner happiness/satisfaction.
war: hate, death, triumph over the other, inner sorrow is the result. a Goddamned drug.
a few results of war include: death of the innocent and the not-so-innocent, rape of the innocent, sadness, mental illness, sorrow, destruction of life and property and beauty.
war evokes emotion that lak-there-of would not. very intense emotions that may have a variety of different effects on the human mind. war is a Goddamned drug.
and i don't think there are many Goddamned drugs around.
what is it that would cause a human to destroy the life of another human exactly the same as him/her?
the pride of their nation? the pride of themselves? the lust for land, power, or money? self defence? the defence of their nation?
so whats the worth of human life then?
is it worth any of these things?
i'm sad. i think that human life is the most valuable thing in existence. but so many others disagree with what i think. so i just hope to change their minds i guess... change your minds damnit!! haha....

just found

some old poems form back in the day.


~~~~~~~~~hey~~~~~~~~

This is the best part of the trip.

No. Don’t look back, don’t concentrate, don’t think -- be free; feel hear smell taste see live. Don’t be held back by your thoughtful mind or limited imagination, don’t “watch your step” -don’t “be careful”. Free yourself, be held back by nothing.

Take a fall and break your bones, or die, and in the process live. Take a plunge to the center, and float up above. Live it all, go to the other side.

Live here on this side, live on the other side, fall off both, land in neither.

You can always dream that things are gonna change, to the way you want them to be.
You can always hope that there is something better across the way.
You can always wish you were different in some way.

This is the best part of the trip.
Why dream? Why hope? Why wish?
When you can live?

~~~~~~~~~~~~don't get shot~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

twenty stories
and three streets,
just north of downtown hell,
stands a big man with a gun.
with the oversights of God
and love in his heart.
he may shoot at ease
or pick a target with care,
but either way,
if you got shot.
you'd be in quit a pickle.
you'd fall, not to death, but in love.
in love with a big man with a gun.

~~~~~~~~~walking~~~~~~~~~~

i take a walk through my mind, a great city of skyscraping questions and the busy traffic of un-questionable answers.

i get stopped by a man with a gun on his belt and a blue hat on his head, he tells me what to do.

i get tracked down by the great organization of "the people", "they" tell me what to think.

i get imprisoned by the "house of learning", it tells me what to believe.

i might get saved by someone great, who might tell me the truth.

i'll take a walk.

~~~~~~~~~conversation~~~~~~~~~~

“I dunno man, how long are you gonna be hangin around here?”
“oh maybe another hour or two, then I’m heading north.”
“what time?”
“an hour or two.”
“oh ok. You got a smoke?”
“I dunno man… I’ve only got six left…”
“come on, just one.”
“ oh alright, here.”
“Hey! Watch it man!”
“damn, she was goin fast.”
“ you wanna head over to the park?”
“yeah. Sure.”


I’ve got a pack, I’ve got a cart, I have a blanket, a lighter, a shirt, a pair of socks, a pair of pants, and a pack of smokes. My home is big though, I could consider myself lucky in that aspect. I have a poor heating system, but my excellent air conditioning makes up for it. I sleep where I want, and eat when I can. I talk with people at times, yet I don’t have many friends. I may not have a “home”, but the world is my home.

People may look at me as if I’m an alien, people may think I’m crazy, think I’m mentally challenged, think that I deal drugs, think that I abuse drugs, they think I’m begging for my next fix. I think they don’t know what the hell they’re thinking about.

I’ve been through a lot; my lover almost murdered me, the government stole from me everything I once owned, my best friend lied and back stabbed me, my children will not talk to me, my parents disowned me, and now I’ve nowhere to go and nothing to live for.

If you see me out on the street, just have sympathy. I’m not asking for much from you, just that you care, just that you would think of me.


~~~~~~~~~come on down~~~~~~~~~

Come on down to the easy side,
Yeah I’ve got food for you,
And plenty of water,
I’ve got a nice house for you to call your home.
I’ve got a few dollars to spare,
It’s saved up for you.
Come on down to the easy side,
I’ll show you the park,
The movie theater,
I’ll even give you the keys to my car.
There’s a McDonald's down the street…
Ill pick you up and application if you’d like,
Five fifteen an hour,
Soon to be seven.
Come on down to the easy side,
You might be discriminated against,
But I’ll show you love,
I’ll show you peace,
I’ll show you care.
The university is only a couple miles away,
I’ll help you get in,
After all, you know education is everything,
Here on the easy side.
Come on down to the easy side.
Its all a lie.
I’ll trade you places,
Don’t bother giving me any hospitality,
I can find food, shelter and every thing else I’ll need.
And peace.
I know I’ll find peace.
To live like you is my dream,
You might say we are the exact opposite,
But I know we’re the exact same.
I love you,
You may not love me.
But we’re the same.
Both looking only for peace.


~~~~~~~~inspired~~~~~~~~

just another emo poem.?
Haha.. judge something for what it’s subliminally
-not the cover.
“I want to be happy.
depression is really getting me down”
you say?
Well they made a cure.
… or say, a way to “smile”
like a mother with her newborn
like a little boy with his tricycle
like a perfect family.
All you gotta do is that.
love. love.

~~~~~~~~~~~inspired 2~~~~~~~~~

if there is one thing we’re afraid to do,
one thing we dread the “opportunity” of doing,
if there is one thing we’re most afraid of?
its giving all.
Generosity’s a gift not many give,
generosity’s an action most are afraid of.
- and the… the…
just try it.


~~~~~~~~~inspired 3~~~~~~~~~

If you told me to give you everything,
i’d try not to do it.
If you said i had to tell you all,
i’d try not to do it.
if you told me i had to believe you,
i’d try not to do it.
if you told me i had to hate myself,
i’d try not to do it.
… i’ll give you everything. i’ll tell you all. i’ll believe you. i’ll hate myself.
whatever you’d say,
i’d try not to do it.
don't tell me what to do.

consumerism

i wrote this lastnight. i've not been happy today; i must be angry with something. i think i'm to selfish a person, i need more, i need more love and attention. i am selfish.


i want a new this,
i want a new that,
i want a new look,
i want a new me,
i want a new you,
i want,
i want,
i want,
i want the world to change,
i want people to be happy,
i want the killing to end,
i want the pain to stop,
i want the war to end,
i want satisfaction and love to flow in abundance,
i want to no longer want the things that come from evil schemes of man,
i want,
i want,
i want.

yet still i fall into the ever so cursed pit of consumerism.
self-satisfaction.
self-absorption.
self-centered.
self-loving.
self-obsessed.
self-ish.

look, i've dug myself into a cool, sneering trap set by... myself?
is this where i planned to end up?
and that is what pulls me in;
ever so intrigued.
how could i know?
the possibilities are endless.
and i welcome them all.
i might end up doing what i think is right.
the selfish thing to do.

सोमे दय...

सोमे दय, ई क्नोव ई विल लीर्ण तो स्पाक थे वैरी लंगुअगे ठाट ई ऍम व्रितिंग इन।
ऎंड ई कांत वेट फ़ॉर ठाट दय तो कॉम।
कल्तुरे इस मय फ्रिएंद। ऎंड ई होप तो बे अ फ्रिएँड्स ऑफ़ कल्तुरे'एस।


सोमे दय... देजोता

come in, ई लोवे यू.

come on in,
have a drag with me, have a drink with me.
have a word with me, have a sing with me.
have a different sound with me, have some insight with me.
have a drive with me, have an adventure with me.
have a session with me, have a confession with me.

i think we're in love, so where's the love?
i think we've got it figured out, so where's the logic?
i think we have style, so where's our praise?
i think i'm in love, so where's the love?
so where's the love?

it's ten past eleven, and i'm still waitin.
it's time we finished up, and i'm still waitin.
it's about the war, and i'm still waitin.
it's about the world, and i'm still waitin.
it's about the time, and i'm still waitin.
so where's the love?

इत मिघ्त बे हार्ड तो उन्देर्स्तंद...

a sudden feeling of remorse and melancholy,
caused by the act of doing nothing but lacking,
an early awakening,
its only 8pm,
the stars shine half-assed through the cloudy aroma of smoke and tears,
at times the body feels like death is soon to come,
there is always a way out.

these days are difficult they tell me,
there's no way around it;
in the past words like these have been too easy to believe,
i know better now,
not because i'm older,
not because i'm smarter,
not because i'm more experienced,
because i'm open,
because i'm open to it all.

self-medication.
through bud?

self-medication.
through sex?

self-medication.
through testing excitement?

self-medication.
through an open mind and an open heart.

self-medication?

love is all you need, and i need to get to know this "love" a little better...